Wahai Millennial Pembelajar: Kenapa Harus Bayar Kalau Bisa Bertukar Ilmu?

Sumber:Pexels

Namanya juga millennials, tidak pernah lelah mencari hal-hal baru yang menarik, menggugah semangat, dan yang paling penting menghilangkan rasa jenuh. Di era digital yang gemerlap ini, kaum millennials (termasuk saya) selalu memiliki keinginan lebih untuk mencoba hal-hal baru meskipun sudah punya bidang yang digeluti. Padahal, tidak jarang generasi yang lebih senior geleng-geleng kepala sambil mengelus dada dan menggumam "Maunya apa sih mereka ini, sudah punya pekerjaan bukannya fokus."

Generasi yang banyak maunya, maunya banyak

Kaum millennials dinilai pasti selalu ada saja 'pingin'-nya. Contohnya, ingin kerja kantoran bergengsi tapi punya usaha sendiri (jualan mi babi misalnya -- oke saya bercanda) atau suka ambil proyek freelance kecil-kecilan di samping profesi sebagai karyawan di ahensi besar internasional. Merasa familiar? Welcome to #millennialslyfe.

Sebenarnya, apa sih yang dicari? Ada yang bilang secara gamblang kepada saya bahwa yang dikejar adalah uang tambahan, karena gaji dari pekerjaan sekarang kurang dari cukup untuk tabungan pernikahan. Very straightforward. Wajar kalau uang menjadi salah satu motivasi utama, sekaligus hal yang menakutkan bagi millennials yang katanya nggak akan bisa beli rumah.

Selain itu, ada juga yang memilih untuk mencari pekerjaan tambahan karena alasan lifestyle. Ada kok salah seorang teman saya yang mengatakan bahwa uang yang ia dapatkan dari pekerjaan-pekerjaan sampingan ini ia gunakan untuk memenuhi kebutuhan lifetsyle yang harus ia penuhi sebagai makhluk yang tinggal di tengah riuhnya kota Jakarta -- nongkrong, makan di restoran, dan sebagainya.

Kali ini, yang saya ingin bahas kali ini adalah sebuah kebutuhan lain dari kaum millennials dalam menjalani kehidupannya sehari-hari, yaitu belajar.

"Belajar? yekali deh."

Loh iya, belajar. Walaupun terkesan membosankan dan terlampau serius, ini adalah sebuah fakta yang dihadapi sebagian besar millennials dalam usia produktifnya. Saya sendiri menyadari bahwa pekerjaan dengan gaji yang cukup saja justru tidak cukup, karena sifatnya fungsional. Kita membutuhkan gaji karena dalam memenuhi kebutuhan sehari-hari, alat tukar resmi yang digunakan adalah uang.

Belajar Apa yang Dimaksud?

Sumber: ellispond.com

Sekarang, coba lihat keadaan di sekitar. Berapa banyak temanmu yang sudah mengundurkan diri dari pekerjaannya karena merasa 'gitu-gitu aja' karena tenggelam dalam rutinitas atau 'merasa tidak berkembang'? Pasti banyak. Menurut majalah Forbes, Pengembangan kemampuan diri (belajar) adalah salah satu manfaat kerja yang paling penting bagi kaum millennials. 

Saat kita tidak merasa belajar sesuatu, pada akhirnya kita akan merasa kurang 'hidup'. Istilah 'kurang hidup' ini ada banyak cara penyampaiannya, mulai dari 'ah, gw jenuh', 'kerjaan gue kurang challenging', 'butuh variasi', dan sebagainya. Jangan salah, keinginan belajar yang tidak terpenuhi ini bukan berarti disebabkan oleh ketidakpuasan terhadap pekerjaan yang sekarang, lho. Menurut pendapat pribadi saya (boleh setuju boleh tidak), bisa dibilang orang-orang yang berhenti dari pekerjaannya karena kurang 'belajar' ini, sebenarnya lebih tepatnya kekurangan waktu untuk bisa melakukan eksplorasi dan belajar hal lain di luar pekerjaan tetap yang sudah menjadi tugasnya.

Kebutuhan untuk belajar ini hanyalah kebutuhan berbeda yang ingin didapatkan di luar bidang yang memang sudah ditekuni. Misalnya seorang akuntan, yang ingin mahir dalam berbagai bahasa. Atau seorang programmer, yang ternyata punya keinginan terpendam untuk jadi pelari marathon. Atau seperti saya, seorang digital marketer yang ingin belajar menulis, video editing, masak, lalu ah.... sudahlah.

Ide Mentah: Mempermudah yang Seharusnya Mudah

Sayangnya, banyak kendala yang dihadapi. Sebagian kendala yang paling sering ditemui adalah uang, karena walaupun terdapat banyak kursus, dari yang terpampang di mall sampai yang dipromosikan di akun-akun Instagram bertema kekinian, merogoh kocek pribadi untuk kursus seringkali terasa berat. Berangkat dari situasi ini dan kesadaran saya bahwa setiap orang diberkati dengan talenta yang berbeda-beda, maka tercetuslah sebuah ide yang saya sebut 'barter ilmu'.

Apa itu barter ilmu?

Sumber: Time Out London

Saya adalah salah satu orang yang percaya bahwa aset terbesar yang kita miliki adalah waktu. Harta, tahta, dan wanita sering jadi tujuan utama seseorang dalam menjalani hidup, tapi waktu tidak bisa kembali dan tidak bisa dibeli #eyaa. Kemudian, hal berharga apa lagi yang ketika dibagikan justru semakin bertambah dan tidak akan habis? Jawabannya adalah ilmu.

Sebelum kamu muntah baca tulisan barusan, please bear with me for another minute. 

Mungkin bukan saya orang pertama yang terpikirkan ide ini, tapi konsep barter ilmu yang saya pikirkan adalah proses dengan langkah-langkah seperti ini:

1. Menyadari kemampuan yang dimiliki

Pertama, pikirkan kemampuan apa yang kamu miliki. Tidak harus jago-jago banget- sesuai kemampuanmu saat ini saja. Ini bisa saja sesuatu yang sangat kamu suka, bisa yang sifatnya teknis seperti programming kalau anda anak IT yang suka coding (jelas saya bukan salah satunya), sampai hal-hal yang terkesan sepele tapi sebenarnya adalah sebuah talenta (sesederhana mengatur pose kece temanmu yang hobinya foto OOTD).

2. Ingin belajar apa?

Sudah ketemu? Masuk ke langkah kedua. Pikirkan apa kemampuan atau ilmu yang selama ini ingin kamu pelajari tapi terkendala berbagai hal. Mulai dari waktu, biaya (karena segala macam kursus, terutama yang ada di kota besar semakin nggak ngotak harganya), sampai niat (karena anda orang yang suka banyak alasan -- seperti saya). Ingin jago presentasi? Lebih disiplin waktu? Bisa masak? You name it. Sebagai awalan, cukup pilih salah satu.

3. Be the one they need, find the one you need

Selanjutnya, pikirkan siapa yang punya kemampuan ini dan mampu membagi ilmunya dengan baik. Kemudian, pikirkan siapa yang sekiranya akan tertarik untuk mempelajari ilmu yang kamu punya. Sudah? Cari orang yang memenuhi kedua kriteria di atas.

Lewat mana? Kamu bisa mencarinya lewat jaringan pertemananmu. Saya pribadi mengamati jaringan pertemanan saya lewat media sosial seperti Facebook, Instagram, dan Twitter karena dari situ saya mendapatkan gambaran mengenai kemahiran teman-teman saya dan apa yang sekiranya mereka butuhkan.
Selain itu, melalui internet kamu bisa mulai aktif di forum atau media sosial. Rekomendasi pribadi saya untuk membangun jaringan profesional (sekaligus jaringan ilmu) adalah LinkedIn dan Quora.

4. Langkah berikutnya: shoot the question!

This could be a little tricky, but it actually challenges you to be able to 'market' yourself / your skills.
Misalnya, kamu ingin barter ilmu marketingmu dengan kemampuan mengedit video-video keren ala Youtuber yang dimiliki oleh temanmu.

Mulai dengan percakapan santai seperti ini: 'Hey, video-video yang lo buat keren banget efek-efeknya! belajar dari mana?' *kemudian dia akan menjawab 'oh gue belajar sendiri, oh gue ngeles' dan sebagainya*. Kemudian, karena kamu mengetahui bahwa dia adalah seorang Youtuber (misalnya) dan dia memerlukan pengetahuan lebih lanjut mengenai Youtube marketing -- sedangkan kamu paham betul bidang ini karena ini bidang pekerjaanmu -- kamu bisa bilang 'Eh, gimana kalau kita barter ilmu? Gue pengen belajar mengenai video editing dari lo, dan sebagai timbal baliknya gue bisa berbagi hal yang gue tahu mengenai Youtube marketing supaya Youtube channel lu banyak yang subscribe dan video views lu bertambah banyak. Gimana?'

What makes it so special?

Sumber: Pexels

This way, what you are offering to exchange is special: a free knowledge. Memang, belajar segala sesuatu secara gratis juga bisa dilakukan secara otodidak. Belajar bahasa asing misalnya, kamu bisa menemukan banyak free online course di situs-situs seperti ini. But having a friend who knows better about the field + guides you through your learning is certainly an advantage.

Selain itu, dengan saling bertukar ilmu, kamu tidak hanya bertambah pandai dalam ilmu 'gratis' yang kamu dapatkan dari temanmu ini -- kamu juga semakin pandai dalam ilmu yang kamu bagikan. Seperti pepatah "When you teach, you learn" dari seorang filsuf bernama Seneca: pada logika mendasarnya, untuk bisa mengajari atau berbagi ilmu dengan orang lain kamu tentu harus memiliki tingkat pemahaman tertentu. Berbeda dengan mengonsumsi ilmu untuk diri kita sendiri, agar dapat berbagi ilmu dengan baik kita harus jauh lebih memahami ilmu tersebut.

"This way, what you are offering to exchange is special: a free knowledge."

Ditambah lagi, ini bukan hanya sebuah pepatah atau teori, karena sudah terdapat berbagai studi yang membuktikan bahwa seseorang yang belajar membagikan ilmunya pada orang lain pada akhirnya akan menjadi jauh lebih paham akan ilmu itu sendiri. You will learn better.

Intinya? Kembali ke Preferensi Masing-masing

Memang, konsep ini dapat bertentangan dengan berbagai pendapat. Misalnya, ada yang merasa lebih baik kursus karena merasa mampu membayar dan tidak perlu 'menghabiskan' waktu mengajari orang lain. Kedua, mungkin sulit untuk menemukan ilmu yang dapat kamu bagikan kepada orang lain. Ketiga, mungkin kamu kurang percaya diri bahwa ilmu dan kemampuan yang kamu miliki cukup 'berharga' untuk dibagikan, apalagi ditukarkan dengan ilmu yang ingin kamu dapatkan dari orang lain.

Pertama, kalau memang kamu merasa punya uang dan lebih suka untuk bayar (menggunakan uang, tentunya) untuk kursus karena lebih sederhana dan tidak ribet serta adanya jaminan untuk belajar dari seseorang yang tersertifikasi (misalnya), then it's totally fine. Semua orang memiliki preferensinya sendiri dalam melakukan sesuatu dan saya menghormati itu. Tapi untuk kamu yang sedang mencari alternatif berbeda dalam menambah kemampuan atau belajar hal-hal baru, mungkin ini bisa jadi salah satu cara.

Kedua. Kamu merasa ilmu yang kamu punya kurang berharga? Mungkin kamu perlu berkunjung sebentar ke situs bernama Fiverr. Apa itu? Fiverr adalah sebuah situs online yang memungkinkan siapapun untuk menawarkan jasanya dengan harga semurah $5 saja. Jangan salah, banyak orang yang mampu menjual jasa yang terkesan sepele, bahkan terlihat lucu dan sedikit nyeleneh seperti jasa edit dan pilih foto profil online dating di Tinder. Benar, sesederhana itu. Nah bedanya, dengan platform seperti ini, kamu bisa menjual apa saja dengan imbalan uang. Sedangkan dengan sistem barter ilmu, yang kamu dapatkan adalah ilmu. Masih merasa kamu tidak punya kemampuan apa-apa atau kemampuanmu tidak berharga?  Think again. Selain itu, ada banyak alasan kenapa kamu sebaiknya mulai berbagi ilmu walaupun kamu belum expert dalam suatu bidang. Ini salah satu artikel yang menjelaskannya dengan cukup baik.

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Sampai pada poin ini, mungkin kamu yang membaca ini akan berpikir, "Will it be worth it?" "Will it work?". Sejujurnya, saya sendiri belum dapat menjamin, tapi saya ingin memulainya. Di dunia yang serba cinta uang saat ini memang terkesan mustahil untuk mendapatkan sesuatu secara cuma-cuma, bukan? Wajar kalau ada banyak orang yang membaca artikel ini menjadi ragu, lalu skeptis.

Tapi, saya yakin bahwa saya bukan satu-satunya orang yang memiliki pemikiran bahwa ilmu lebih berharga daripada uang; uang mungkin dapat membuatmu kaya secara jasmani, tapi hanya ilmu yang dapat memenuhi jiwa dan akal budi.

Bagaimana menurutmu, apakah konsep barter ilmu ini menarik untuk ditindaklanjuti? Saya sih mau segera mencoba. Atau ada yang tertarik mencoba barter ilmu dengan saya? :))

"Kalau millennials seperti kita banyak maunya, apa barter ilmu bisa jadi salah satu solusi?"

Selamat berkontemplasi dan silakan berkomentar.

The 4D Phases of Your Reaction Towards Unwanted Changes

Reading time: 3-5 minutes

How do you actually react to those unwanted changes you have in life?

Here's what I think would be the phases that you go through once the almighty unwanted changes are right at your doorstep.
Disclaimer: This post is purely based on my personal opinions.

1. Denial

"Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Denial? No it is not. Everything is fine, everything is gonna be fixed like how they've always been. Well you know thesedays this kind of problem isn't that simple anymore, right? There must be something missing here and I need to find it. Everything's actually fine."

No, it is not. You know something is bothering you, but you're either too afraid to deal with it, or you just haven't fully realized that something is changing, and that change is not something you favor.

2. Disorientation

"What am I doing? Did I do this wrong? Did I do anything wrong at all? What should I focus on? Why is this not working? Wait.. what?"
When a change happens, and it has started bothering you even more, everything is a distraction. You can't focus. You're somehow reacting to this change more spontaneously with all the defense you have at the moment. And when you have done all you can and it's not working well, you finally realize that this is really happening. Moving on to the next phase.

3. Depression

" I don't know what to do anymore. I have tried everything. I never expected this. I shouldn't have done that. I cannot deal with this anymore. What should I do to make this right? Why is everything different now?"
This is usually the phase where you're letting all of your feelings out towards the unwanted change. You know that this is really happening. It's absorbing all of your positive energy all at once. One or two things might happen, like self-blaming, or letting your angst out on others. You desperately want to stop that change but you're running out of time, energy, and ideas. What's the worst thing that can happen? If you cannot go through this phase easily (usually it's not because you can't, you just don't want to. It's so comfortable being all gloomy and diving into the depth of your agony. Right?) you will, yes you will, ruin yourself even more.

4. Dealing with it

"Okay, I got it. I did the right things, and I also did the wrong things. I have probably done my best, but change is inevitable. I have to embrace the NOW, and I know everything's always gonna change eventually. By that time, I should be ready for it. I should be ready to accept every single change that will happen in my life."
There you have it. Once you're ready to accept that change, and not to just accept it, but also to embrace it, you'll become more positive towards others and yourself. Everything really happens for a reason, or many reasons. One time it doesn't make you feel good, and another time it makes you feel damn good. Fair enough?

These phases of reaction are always there, and the length of each phase varies. You can choose to be in denial forever, or let yourself burn in anger, or try a more positive approach.

Here's the ugly truth.
You will go through these phases again, and again, and again. It never stops.
But the more you've gone through it, the stronger you have become, supposedly.

And it depends on how much you love your life. It is YOUR life after all, not anyone else's.

This is what I want to believe.
How about you?

Be kind to one another. See ya in my next post.

What are YOU gonna do after graduation?

Reading time: 5-7 minutes

Source: pexels.com

"Are you planning to take master's degree afterwards?"
"How are you? Have you got a job yet?"
"Do you think I should go for the Master's degree scholarship or should I find a job instead?"

.. and so on, and so on.

Those questions above are every year's questions of the year for fresh graduates. I believe all of my friends who are graduating (or have just graduated) have got these questions asked to them a zillion times. They come from your friends, parents, relatives (you know, the countless aunts and uncles, the older cousins) or your mom's friends.. and even neighbours! Suddenly your graduation, your future, has become everyone's number one concern.

So, how do you react to them?

Do you become as excited about the 'life-after-graduation' as they do? Are you becoming afraid of stepping into the real world? Or instead, do you get so annoyed that you use "We'll see" as an answer template?

Honestly, I was contemplating on what I want to do with my life after graduation, or at least after I have finished my thesis defense. I surely have learned a lot from the thesis writing process, yet I did not have the time to focus on what's next while I was writing my thesis. Most of the time I'm a person who is spontaneous and impulsive at times, which does not help when it comes to long-term life planning.

Based on this struggle, I have since then asked a lot of people I know the very same questions: to my friends, parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, anyone I could ask, to get their opinions on this matter. Now, although I still find these questions rather daunting, I know there are several things every fresh graduate can do after they have finished their study. So, if you are a fresh graduate, you might want to consider some of these options worth-considering that I have compiled.

1. First, you can find a job. It's very easy, right?

Now before you stop reading, let me make this clear. Finding a job is easy, there are tons of jobs that you can get, and there are also companies who would hire you just because they need people to work for them. 

So finding a job is actually easy, but finding a job that fits you is hard. Chances are, it's even harder because you don't know what you really want, YET. That's why after applying for some random jobs, none of them gave you a satisfying result. 

My dad told me that back in his days, applying for jobs was A LOT harder. They had to write their own CV and application letter with their hands, and the companies were also harder to approach because there was no internet at the time (they had to buy the newspapers and look for job vacancies there), and the companies did not pass any company brochures or came to any job fair. Job fair did not even exist back then. So he said "becoming jobless for around 6 months is totally normal because it takes time to find a job you want".

"Six months? Are you crazy? All of my friends would have got a job if I waited that long!" You might think. But not like in old days, our life is much easier now. We have internet to find almost anything, and the companies actively reach out to the students as early as on their first semester of college. It doesn't need to take 6 months to actually get a job. But we could probably use the time to understand what we want to do.

I would rather think carefully before I land my first job than getting the job I don't really want ASAP just because of, you know, peer pressure. Do you agree?

Don't take any job that you're not sure of. Take your time.

2. Take A Master's Degree (or a Diploma, or any other degree you want)

There are a lot of reasons why you should take a Master's degree right after you get your Bachelor's degree. You probably want to pursue a scholarship opportunity to study abroad (which would probably not come twice), or maybe you are already sure of what you want to study.

I have friends who are still doubtful about whether she/he's going to take a Master's degree directly or get a job experience first. Nowadays, we all try to solve our problems by Googling it. But if you searched about this so-called-dilemma, you would find too many of pros and cons about getting a Master's degree.

If you are one of those who are having this dilemma, I don't have a good answer to solve your problem, but I'll share my opinion with you. If you ask me whether I want to take a Master's degree, I would say "Yes, I want to". But am I taking it right after I graduate? No. Because first, I am not sure enough of the major for my Master's degree. Therefore, I have decided to get a job first, and when I am sure that I want to build a career in a certain field, I will pursue my Master's Degree. This way, I am taking the major I want with more confidence. I also have several personal considerations which have led me to that decision. How about you? It is your call.

Do not use the articles you find on the internet as your guide. They are made by people, and different people have different kinds of opinion because they have their own circumstances. You may use them as references, as some of them are telling their facts, but most of them are purely subjective opinions based on their own experiences. Make a decision based on your circumstances and your own considerations. 

3. Do Cool Internships!

This could be a choice if you felt like you need more working experience before getting a real job. Internships could even get you a full-time job afterwards, because you get to be evaluated for your performance, not only from your short resume and a 15-minute interview. You may have graduated, but getting an internship to warm you up before landing a job would not hurt. Instead, it could give you time to build your strategy and preparation to get the job that you aim for.

Good luck!

4. Make your own awesome thing.

I also have friends who are passionate to become an entrepreneur. Most of my friends are coming from Computer Science major, so there are a lot of them who are planning to build an IT start up after they graduate. I find them to be very passionate and independent. I also know some who have great values for their own start-ups. The thing is, their ultimate goal is not to become successful. Their goal is to become useful, to make something that creates huge positive impact to people.

It's amazing how you can build something with values you don't only keep. I think that's an example of trusting your own values, living them, and making them happen.

Do you have values and dreams that you wish to come to life? Entrepreneurship might be the right choice for you.

5. Become the super housewife!

Hey, I'm not kidding. This probably works for the ladies. If you feel like you want to be the ultimate, best housewife in the world and you are supported by your parents and your future husband, why not jump directly into practice? You will have plenty of time to master your skills in cooking, taking care of households, and later, if you have kids, you are going to be the full time mom every child wishes they had. What is more, instead of working from 9-5, you can start your own home business. What could be more exciting than being able to arrange your own working hours and spend plenty of quality time with your kids?

There are a lot of things you could do after you graduate, and when it comes to making the decision, you sure could have a lot of fears to overcome. To answer that, I will quote what Mahatma Gandhi said.

"Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes".

We will ALWAYS make mistakes no matter which path we take, but letting those mistakes bring you down is only one of the life choices you can take.

This is dedicated to all fresh graduates. May your next life stages be blessed.

A Few Life Lessons I've Got from Writing Thesis

Reading time: 5 minutes

For the last 2 weeks me and my fellow thesis fighters were trying to finish our thesis. And so we submitted our thesis 2 days ago. Finally!

I wanted to tell you all the details of how we survived the wrath of thesis (technically, not yet because I haven't gone through my thesis defense, but i think thesis submission counts as one phase of "The Wrath of Thesis"). But then I figured that it would be a lot more interesting if I also share the life lessons I got from this 6-month torture process of thesis writing.

 Just so you know, the life lessons I have got are worth it.

1. Setting a clear goal

My thesis would have been messed up if we (me and my thesis group) did not have any clear goal apart of getting our thesis done. We aimed to create a useful application, to learn as much as we could in the process, and to give our all until the thesis defense day comes. We have made a lot of decisions based on that goal, like deciding our thesis topic and choosing the lecturer who gives us guidance, as a start. Without that clear goal we would have got  lost in the process.

I realize that it works the same way in life. When you're not sure what you're fighting for and why you're doing what you're doing, you would not be able to do it right. Don't do it at all if you don't mean it.

2. Taking challenges one step at a time

In writing thesis, you are required to have the eye for details, even if you really don't. That's what happened to me. It seems that there's always gonna be another mistake or misplacement and another numbers of imperfection. I have to face so many challenges that sometimes I feel overwhelmed. 

But that's life too. You will never get rid of all problems. Life is not problem-free (here i am stating the obvious). What we can do instead is facing all of them patiently. Don't be afraid to take the steps. 

I have come to a realize that getting started is often the hardest part, but when we decide to just deal with it and start working, it will make us feel a lot better because we can see the progress we have. That content feeling drives us to continue with our work and perform better.

3. Staying out of unnecessary rage

Frustration would get its grip on me when things don't happen as I expected, or when I couldn't get an approval I had thought I deserved (yes, I am talking about bunch of revisions here).

In life we would be tempted to complain and complain whenever we don't get the things we want to get. Believe me (and believe yourself), you'll get there. What would make it harder for you to get what you want is unnecessary amount of rage and complaints. It really does nothing but getting in your way of achieving your goals.

4. Small things matter

Let me tell you, the process of writing thesis has really taught me a lot about life. In my post last month,  I have discussed about how small things matter but we don't have to sweat over every small stuff. In this particular case (i mean writing thesis), it clearly shows how small things really matter. 

I watched a group's thesis defense a few days ago, and it was hard to watch because they did not pay attention on small things they should know, as simple as the background of their work.

Same thing goes with your life. How can you create big things if you cannot even prove that you can handle the small things?

If we don't really care about small things and decide to just leave them there, it means we're not ready to take over the big stuff. Don't even try. Everything starts small, and when it turns big, it doesn't leave the small things behind to keep growing.

5. Team work

While this "thesis team" thing doesn't make sense to a lot of other universities and faculties (Some have said that working on thesis in a team just makes it a lot worse and harder), it's also something that i am actually grateful for. Writing thesis in a team has taught me about the importance of team work. Another obvious statement, right? But it's a lot trickier than it sounds. I have seen some friendships and relationships end during team thesis writing, and I am not joking. Maintaining relationships under the pressure of thesis are challenging.

Working in a team with 2 friends of mine has taught me a lot of things about myself. From one person, I learned about how a great learning habit is very positively impactful, from another I learned about how dealing with challenges is best done by getting started right away and staying focused. I'm sure it's no coincidence that I ended up being in the thesis team with them, why? Because these qualities are exactly the things I still need to improve.

Both of them also have different personalities from mine, and I learned to work by understanding how they work, so we can work together. The dynamic of a team is a life simulation. No matter what, we always have to deal with different kinds of people.

So, those are the 5 life lessons that I have got only from writing a thesis. How about you? Do you have your own ideas of how thesis writing changed your perspectives, or perhaps, changed your life?

Until next time.

It's NOT my fault! (Or is it?)

Reading time: 3-5 minutes

"That is not my fault! You were the one who used it recently!"

"No, you were! Remember when you said you wanted to borrow it then I gave it to you?"

"Oh, come on, guys. Where's my scientific calculator? I need it NOW."

Sounds familiar?

Well it should be, more or less. There are times when we think that we're not at fault on something, because someone deserves the blame more than you do. And it's okay, knowing that all of us are human beings who don't like to be blamed even when it's really our fault.

Even apologizing is not an easy thing, don't you think? I find myself to be quite bad at apologizing when I completely accept that it is my fault. Here's why:

1. I'm afraid of rejection

Really. What scares you more than apologizing and get rejected immediately? The rejection itself is very frightening. But some people even have a big enough ego to get angry at the rejection, and not feel bad about it at all. (The power of ego )

2. What happens after the rejection

When we apologize for our faults, it's because : First, you feel bad about it, you might have hurt the other person's feelings. Why do you care? Because you don't only care about the person, but you also care about the relationship that you have. Whether it's your friends, bf/gf, family, boss, and etc. If the apology wasn't accepted, the most potential thing that could happen next is your relationship, being ruined.

But what if "your" fault.. is not yours?

No, don't react directly by pointing your finger towards either the one who accused you or the one whom you think deserves the blame, and yell at them.

You have to admit that sometimes, it just doesn't work.

Look at the situation, is it worth it? Are you losing your job because of it? If it is, you might as well fight for it. But when it's now only about you, and your big fat ego,  I'm suggesting you to think twice, or thrice, before you react.

Here are a few situations for you to consider.

1.  You're "sure"(i mean, not so sure) that you weren't the last person who used your mom's hair dryer. But now it's broken. The fact that your sister used to play around with it makes you want to blame her instead of admitting that it was probably your fault.

2. You are very sure that you put your stuff on the dining table, but now it's gone. Your mom's blaming your carelessness and bad habit of putting your stuff everywhere. You do know that your mom also has this bad habit of collecting random stuff she finds at home, automatically put them in her room/ her closet, and forget about it. Then when you try to search for your stuff. Voila! It's in your mom's closet.

How would you react to those situations?

When I was younger, I'd most likely blame someone else, not me. I'd try my best to get out of trouble or at least fulfill me ego with the "innocent" status. I'd debate, yell, and argue for that "Okay it's not your fault" thing.

Now, as I'm growing up, like I have mentioned before, it doesn't always work. I will not always get my "Innocent" status or feel relieved after I prove myself to be right.

Instead, I look at the situations like those above and consider whether it's worth fighting for or if I should just give in and take the responsibility.

So, here's what I apply.

First, if I'm not really sure that I'm 100% correct and innocent, either because I don't completely remember or my conscience is telling me that I have this tiny bit of a mistake, I would at least not blame someone else and insist about it. (Got it? Because it's my fault, too)

Secondly, If my mom forgot that she was the one who took my stuff and stored it in her closet / her room because she didn't want me to lose them, was she really at fault? She did it for me anyway. It was annoying at first (because she blamed me for what she did, for me), but I started perceiving it differently, more into the positive side.

The point is, I think we don't have to always blame people for the mistakes they have done. Sometimes it's better to take the blame instead.

I know it sounds crazy,but really,

Life is not just about how right or wrong we are. It's also how we adapt to situations and nurture relationships.

What do I know about life, right? I just turned 21. But those are just my thoughts.

What do you think?

Assumptions

Reading time: 1-3 minutes

Do you create a lot of assumptions every day?

I like to call an assumption as "spontaneous nature of judgment". As human beings, we like to anticipate the things before they happen. But the thing is, we know that it's not always gonna happen.

Assumptions never really come from in-depth research. You know what I'm saying?
Creating assumptions is probably one of the easiest thing to do. And probably you don't even realize when you're doing so.

But assumptions are not only about the upcoming events that could happen. Assumptions could also be about what others thinking and feeling towards anything. For some reasons, the "assumptions mode" would be easily switched on when it has something to do with yourself. Your so-called intuitions start wandering inside your mind, telling you to do this and do that. Then when it finally reaches your feelings, God knows what you're gonna do afterwards. Assumptions are SO strong that it urges you to do what it wants you to do, and feel what it wants you to feel.

Assumptions are dangerous, though.

Remember Romeo and Juliet? Now that's an easy example of how one terrible mistake could come from an assumption. 

Sometimes, good deeds or surprises come from correct assumptions though.

Still, we would never have perfectly correct assumptions in our life. 

One thing to keep in mind is, too much is never a good thing.

So don't rely too much on your assumptions, but don't stop assuming as well.

Be careful with your assumptions, buddy. It could do harm to you and those around you.

Kenapa reuni bukan ide yang bagus?

Reading time: 3-5 minutes

Let's begin the new year with old memories. 

Ya, rasanya di awal tahun 2014 ini saya menghabiskan waktu lebih banyak untuk bertemu kembali dengan teman-teman di masa sekolah. Dua minggu berturut-turut saya datang ke acara yang biasa kita sebut "reuni". 

Kalau anda yang membaca post ini mengenal saya dengan baik, pasti tidak akan heran kalau saya mengatakan bahwa kehadiran saya di pertemuan-pertemuan reuni ini sama sekali tidak direncanakan, alias spontan. Pada dua minggu terakhir saya menghadiri dua macam reuni. Yang pertama adalah reuni kecil berempat dengan teman-teman satu tim basket SMP saya, dan yang kedua adalah reuni SD.

"Apa? Reuni sekolah dasar? Nggak reuni taman kanak-kanak aja sekalian?"

Benar, anda nggak salah baca. Reuni sekolah dasar. 

Tetapi dua reuni yang saya hadiri ini esensinya sangat, sangat berbeda.

Reuni saya dengan teman-teman SMP saya diisi dengan kegiatan catching up, berhubung anggotanya semuanya perempuan, anda bisa bayangkan sendiri apa topik yang dibicarakan. Mulai dari kabar teman-teman SMP lainnya, kehidupan kuliah, kerja, dan tentunya, percintaan. It was a nice meet-up. Dan tentunya nyaman-nyaman saja. Sambil menikmati seporsi nasi putih hangat dan dua drumstick ayam di Chicken BonChon (tanpa bermaksud promosi atau apa, ayamnya memang enak sih), dengan lancar saya ngobrol bersama teman-teman saya yang sudah semakin cantik-cantik. Mengingat kebersamaan kami di saat bermain basket bersama, baru ingat seberapa lusuh dan gosong terbakar matahari kami berempat. Semacam anak layangan.

Nah, reuni semacam itu, sangat berbeda dengan reuni yang selanjutnya saya hadiri, yaitu reuni sekolah dasar.

Coba anda bayangkan, saya sudah sekitar 10 tahun tidak bertemu dengan orang-orang yang bersekolah di SD saya ini. Sebetulnya sebelumnya sudah ada 2 kali reuni SD yang diadakan, hanya saja waktu itu saya masih lugu dan tidak tahu jalan.

Reuni SD ini diinisiasikan oleh seorang teman SD saya yang juga merupakan teman SMA saya, jadi bisa dibilang cukup mudah untuk bertanya soal reuni tersebut. Begitu melihat undangan untuk menghadiri event di Facebook, langsung saya pikiran saya dipenuhi dengan memori dan kenangan di masa SD.

Blur dan remang-remang, ya kan? I mean, memangnya memori berkesan apa sih yang bisa diingat waktu zaman-zaman SD? Buat saya sih, SD berlalu sedemikian cepatnya sampai saya nggak terlalu ingat apa hal-hal menarik yang terjadi.

Tapi saya penasaran sih, ingin melihat apakah orang-orang ini sudah berubah atau belum penampilannya. Apakah ada yang saya tidak ingat? Apakah ada yang masih ingat saya? Seketika hal yang paling saya takutkan adalah : merasa canggung saat reuni. 

"Gimana kalau ga ada yang inget gw?" 

"Gimana kalau ga ada yang tertarik ngobrol sama gw?"

dan seterusnya.

Setelah mengumpulkan segenap hasrat ingin bertemu dan bertegur sapa setelah sekian lama, akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk menghubungi sang bandar (maksudnya yang mengadakan acara reuni tersebut) dan mengatakan "Yes, I'm in!".

Guess what? I had a really great time.

Ternyata banyak hal yang saya sudah lupa, dan saya bisa ingat lagi berkat memori teman-teman saya dijadikan satu. Menertawakan hal-hal konyol seperti "Eh, waktu itu lu punya geng namanya Fenomena kan ya?" atau "Eh iya ya waktu itu kan si A mau nembak si B terus mereka kejar-kejaran dari lantai satu sampe lantai dua" atau "Ya ampun iya waktu itu gue ngerobek seragamnya si C karena main polisi-maling" dan "Hahaha ternyata lu masih aja suka nyisirin poni!", sangat seru.

Nggak nyesel, mau menyempatkan waktu untuk duduk sejenak bareng teman-teman yang mungkin saat SD dulu nggak terlalu dekat, but we do have the same memories. Di benak saya, "Hmm, lain kali reuninya harus lebih rame.".

Tapi, seperti judul yang saya buat di atas, ada hal-hal yang menjadikan reuni bukan ide yang bagus.

1. Tidak punya uang.

Jelas, reuni butuh uang, paling nggak untuk beli minuman. Kalau anda sedang ingin berhemat dan menurut anda reuni itu bahkan worthnya tidak setara dengan segelas es teh manis, reunion is not a good idea.

2. Dibenci semua orang.

Sebuah reuni pastinya mengingat kenangan di masa lalu. Tapi kalau di masa lalu yang anda lakukan adalah menambah musuh, bukan menambah teman, ada dua pilihan hal yang bisa anda lakukan. Yang pertama adalah mohon maaf lahir batin di acara reuni tersebut. Yang kedua, mungkin bisa pass aja reuninya.

3. Ada mantan yang tidak mau anda temui.

Nah, kalau tidak mau reuni anda rusak karena ke-awkward-an yang terjadi, sebenarnya sih bisa saja anda memilih untuk ngobrol dengan teman-teman tertentu saja. Tapi ingat, hampir pasti hukumnya, paling tidak ada satu saja teman anda yang bilang "Eh dulu kan lu pacaran sama dia ya ha ha ha ha". Terus rame deh. Jreng jeng.

4. Tidak ada yang kenal atau ingat anda

Asik tidaknya reuni tidak cuma tergantung seberapa awareness anda terhadap eksistensi anda sendiri, tapi juga awareness orang lain terhadap anda. Kalau anda merasa ingat semua teman-teman anda, jangan senang dulu. Sebaiknya hal tersebut berlaku sebaliknya.

5. Anda tidak suka keramaian

Kalau sebelum anda datang ke reuni yang anda lakukan adalah berdoa supaya reuninya tidak ada yang datang, sepertinya reuni bukan pilihan yang tepat bagi anda. Mutlak hukumnya.

Jadi, karena sebab-sebab di ataslah kenapa menurut saya tidak selamanya reuni merupakan ide yang baik.
Pikir dulu sebelum datang ke reuni ya, readers.

Do All Kinds of Small Stuff Matter?

Reading time: 3-5 minutes


It was raining for the whole day, and if I wanted to just snuggle with my pillows all day like I usually do, I could have done it. But I didn't, and I learned quite a few things. Here's my random rant about it.



One of my best buddies is having his birthday today, and he invited me to have lunch together, also with the other good friends of mine. The weather sucks thesedays, so much that it rains almost everyday. I was home, and my house is quite far from where we wanted to eat.
My friend told me not to push it, because he also thought that it would take more effort just to arrive there.

Feeling more energetic and less lazy than usual, i took a bus. On my trip to the bus stop, it was raining heavily and I didn't bring my umbrella. So the rain got me wet and cold. I decided not to sweat it, rainy days are just rainy days, i would have turned a rainy day into a sucky day if i started complaining, i thought.

Having arrived too early, it was 2 hours earlier than the time that we agreed on. We were planning to meet at 2 pm, and it was still 12 pm. I forgot to have any breakfast, so i walked to JCo Donuts and ordered a cronuts, probably meant to be the cousin of donut. And so I enjoyed the cronut with a glass of hot chocolate (medium size, because the J.Co lady only offered me to choose medium or large while they actually have the small sized drink. Smart girl). It was quite an expensive breakfast, and usually I would complain about it. But the cronut tasted great. Once again, my day was saved.

Still waiting for my friends, I walked to the book store. For me, a book store is the only place where you can feel least guilty when you're not buying anything. Just my personal choice for waiting or wasting time. Reading books would never be a waste of time, wouldn't it?

Waiting and waiting. It was 2.30 pm already and my friends hadn't showed up. I was not hungry because the cronuts filled me up, but for some reasons i kinda wanted to not tolerate this lateness. Then i stopped to think. Why should I be upset? I've been here for 2,5 hours,and they've only been late for half an hour. It's probably my fault for arriving here way too early anyway. So, I waited for another half an hour and my friends finally showed up. We ended up having a late lunch in a sushi restaurant. Fyi, sushi is one of my favourite food. My day, once again, was saved, because I chose not to react directly to what was potentially ruining my mood.

I had to go straight back home after the get-together, and tomorrow I need to go back to my boarding house, so I left earlier. It was 5 PM and still, it was raining heavily. As I have mentioned before, i didn't have my umbrella with me, so I was quite soaked while waiting for the bus to come. I thought, hey, I did have a great time, why complain? Suddenly I realized that a quite good looking foreigner was also waiting for a bus. Quite a view. The waiting suddenly didn't feel like it took as long as it actually was.
Then the bus came, and in silence I thanked the guy for saving my day.

In the bus running through the heavy rain, I realized that my phone's battery had only 4% power left. Usually, I kill time by listening to music. But I couldn't count on it at that time. The bus musicians (what's the english word for 'pengamen'?)came and I prayed, this better be good.
What happened next is my jaw dropping. The guy was so good at singing and his choice of songs were just perfect. I was observing this man while he was singing. He really enjoyed singing every single song and gave his all to them. Oh, irony. I remembered watching those so-called singers on TV, becoming popular from doing lip-syncs live.

My mind wandered and then I realized how unlucky this guy is. I'm sure he knows well how singing from bus to bus wouldn't make a living, but he did it with all his heart. I immediately compared him to the street 'musicians' around my boarding house who don't even care about how they sound like, but still ask for money and get mad if they don't get it. But what made me stunned and amazed (i know it sounds a bit too much, but it's true) is how he passionately sang. It's almost like he could relate to every single song. It wouldn't give him much, but he sang beautifully and with his whole heart.

My heart probably smiled that time. I get it. So that's how it looks like when someone does what he/she loves. I felt overwhelmed with what I saw. Now, I'm excited to know how it feels like if it's ME who does it. Doing what I love, loving what I do. That, is what I'm gonna do.

Always remember that small stuff does matter, but don't always sweat over the small stuff.

There are so many small things that could have ruined my whole day, but I decided not to let them.
There are so many big things that I thought would make me the happiest person on earth, but sometimes happiness comes from small stuff I don't usually bother to look at. Like doing what you love.


And don't forget, all these understandings came to me only because I chose not to snuggle with my bed on a lazy Sunday, like I usually do.

Dua Puluh Satu

Reading time: 3-5 minutes



Bukan, maksud tulisan kali ini bukan untuk membahas bioskop yang memang identik sekali dengan nomor 21. Saya memang suka nonton film di bioskop, tapi saya rasa bukan saatnya saya menceritakan film-film layar lebar yang saya sukai.

Angka dua puluh satu bisa banyak maknanya. Tapi kali ini, saya memilih untuk membahas angka dua puluh satu yang paling dekat dengan kehidupan saya tepat hari ini. Usia saya yang baru saja bertambah!

Penting? Sebenarnya saya pikir awalnya nggak penting-penting amat sih. Toh setiap tahun juga semua orang mengalami hal yang sama, tentunya di tanggal-tanggal spesial mereka masing-masing.

Apa karena usia yang kedua puluh satu yang membuat hal tersebut jadi spesial? Well karena saya perempuan, sepertinya tidak perlu seheboh anak laki-laki yang biasanya merayakan ulang tahunnya yang ke-21. Benar sih ini usia legal, dan artinya saya sudah boleh minum-minuman beralkohol. Tapi saya sudah pernah sih minum yang beralkohol, walaupun hanya 5% kadar alkoholnya.

Ngomong-ngomong, di usia saya yang ke-21 ini (oke, dan saya mulai merasa tua hanya dengan mengetik kalimat tersebut) saya jadi sadar beberapa hal. Saya nggak tahu apakah pembaca sekalian juga merasakan hal yang sama, jadi kalau ada komentar monggo dituliskan atau disampaikan langsung ke saya ya :)

"Tua itu pasti, dewasa itu pilihan"

Klise ya? Setiap saya mendengar atau membaca kata-kata di atas memang komentar saya kurang lebih "Ya iyalah jelas" atau "Ya ya ya udah tau". Tapi setelah menyongsong usia yang lebih lanjut (kemudian saya terdengar seperti seorang lansia), terutama karena perkuliahan sudah mau habis, melihat orang tua yang sudah tidak semuda dulu lagi, dan menyadari bahwa sebentar lagi saya akan mendapatkan tanggung jawab penuh atas diri saya sendiri, makna kalimat di atas menjadi pendorong supaya saya bisa jadi lebih dewasa lagi dalam menjalani hidup.

Belajar Bersyukur

Entah kemasukan apa, tahun ini saya menyadari banyak hal yang harusnya setiap tahun, nggak, setiap hari, harus saya syukuri di dalam kehidupan saya. Tahun ini saya sangat bersyukur untuk kehadiran sebuah keluarga di sekitar saya, hal-hal yang sudah saya dapatkan selama 21 tahun, semua hal yang sudah saya lewati. Mungkin tahun-tahun lalu saya nggak terlalu memikirkan soal ini. Entah kenapa tahun ini saya merasa ingin lebih menghargai apa yang saya miliki.  (Semoga belum terlambat untuk bertobat)

Ucapan selamat yang semakin sedikit

Awalnya saya sedih sih, menyadari bahwa setiap tahun semakin sedikit orang yang mengucapkan selamat (atau paling tidak, tahu kalau saya berulang tahun di hari tersebut). Saya masih ingat deh waktu SMP atau SMA, hari ulang tahun itu hari yang paling repot untuk membalas satu persatu sms ucapan dari teman-teman sekelas. Kalau sekarang bisa jadi orang-orang yang saya kenal tahu saya berulang tahun karena kebetulan sedang online di Facebook (Tapi saya tetap berterima kasih karena sudah mau menghabiskan waktu menuliskan ucapan buat saya). 

Tapi..

Kemudian saya mencoba melihat mereka satu persatu. Ucapan yang tadi saya sebut "Cuma sedikit".

Mereka yang mengirimkan saya pesan singkat "Selamat ulang tahun ya Janet, semoga panjang umur, sehat dan sukses selalu".

Dia yang mau menelpon tepat jam 12 malam dan menyebutkan sendiri harapan-harapan positifnya untuk saya.

Dia yang repot-repot mengirimkan kado dan kartu berisi birthday wish untuk saya padahal tinggal kurang lebih 700 km dari tempat saya tinggal.

Atau pun mereka yang dengan kreatifnya mengedit foto-foto aib saya dan membubuhkan ucapan selamat ulang tahun.

Saya nggak mendapat sedikit. Saya mendapat banyak. Lebih dari banyak.

Bahagia itu sederhana ya. Sesederhana merasa punya arti lebih untuk orang-orang yang kita sayangi.

Mengambil kesimpulan dari beberapa hal-hal yang saya sadari di atas, ternyata tahun dua puluh satu saya mungkin bukan pesta mewah, ucapan selamat dan wishes dari ratusan orang, atau kado-kado menumpuk.

Tahun dua puluh satu ini waktunya saya menghargai semua hal-hal kecil yang sekilas terlihat sangat sepele, tapi mempunyai makna yang paling penting di antara semua hal yang ada.

=======================================================================

Untuk semua

Obrolan-obrolan tanpa arah,

Tawa lepas,

Senyuman penuh arti,

Kata-kata penyemangat,

Nasihat dan teguran yang menguatkan,

Waktu yang berharga,

Bahu tempat bersandar,

Pelukan yang menenangkan,

Perhatian yang tidak terbagi,

Rasa percaya,

dan arti sebuah keberadaan.

Terima kasih.

Janet

Why wouldn't you make a New Year's Resolution?

Reading time: 5-7 minutes

First of all, Merry Christmas everyone! I was actually thinking of writing about Christmas, but I ended up not writing any special post about it. So now, I'm gonna talk about what most people make in the end of the year, and abandon 2 or 3 months after (or even earlier than that). 
Yes, it's the so-called "New Year's Resolution".
I find New Year's Resolution kinda amusing, because it gives so much sparks and spirit to everyone who makes it (at first), before it turns into a "burden" and makes you go "nyeh" and "mehh".

I'm not gonna lie, I can still remember how I made several new year's resolutions and didn't really achieve any of them, like learning how to cook and learning how to drive a car-- I did learn a few times but didn't have the time to really commit to it. 

I reviewed as many resolutions that I could remember and read several articles about why we fail our new year's resolutions. Here are three reasons for failing to achieve one's stated goals (Baumeister and Heatherton 1996, as cited by Koestner, 2008, p. 61):

1. Unclear and vague goals.

It's better to state  "I'm gonna lose 20 kg this year" rather than "I'm gonna lose some weight".

2. Failure to follow up and measure our progress

It's better to weigh yourself every Monday rather than feeling your pants to know if it has loosened like you want it to.

3. Weak self-control and self-regulation when facing challenges

And this is probably the root of all failures when we're holding onto our New Year's Resolution. We tend to compromise our goals and add a lot of excuses to support it. 

Now that I know why I (almost) always failed in my New Year's Resolutions, I am planning not to fail in my 2014's Resolutions. After a week of sleepless nights, thinking of what should be my 2014's resolutions (nah, just kidding, it didn't take that long) I came up with a set of New Year's Resolutions, or what I call "My impulsive New Year's Resolutions".

1. Read books.

I used to love reading books, then the era of comic books came. Then movies. Then internet has ruled my world (I bet it rules your world too). I have friends who read books, and seeing them made me realize that I am missing so much things by not reading books.
If you ever heard someone said "Why read books? Everything is on the internet now, idiot" and you are buying that, you are on the wrong track. E-books are surely nice, but can you stand reading a 300-paged-book on your computer screen? I honestly can't. So starting next year, I'm planning to start reading a book for each month. Wait for me, my intelligent-full-of-knowledge friends.

2. Run.

As much as I want to run from reality (And you know you want to do that as well, folks) What I mean by "run" is I want to literally start running as a part of my routines. As you know, running has become a trend, and from that trend, I say "Why don't I turn it into a healthy habit?". I used to play basketball back when I was in high school but now running really seems like an easier sport with no-less health advantages than basketball. By easier I mean I don't have to arrange time with friends who play basketball. Running? There are more fellows you can just ask to run with you.
I did my first 5K run last week. It was exhausting, but so refreshing that it feels like you've washed your brain when you're done with the running. So I'd like to start running every week.

3. Blog.

Yes. Blog. I know my relationship with blog has been on and off (really). The first time I started blogging, I was so expressive that I never really filtered what I was writing. Then I thought that I should make a brand new blog to not only showcase my ideas, but to also give helpful information for the readers in some ways. It turned out that becoming too concerned about what I post on my blog only made me a worse blogger. The second blog stopped, and I just started a new one. This blog. 
In 2014 (and so on) I want to just share. I'm learning to take the phrase "Sharing is Caring" seriously, and therefore that's what I'm gonna do consistently from now on.


I would love to add a lot of other resolutions, and I do know there are things I want to fix or achieve (something that goes like "I want to ace my final exams, I want to finish my ultimate thesis--there I said it, and graduate, and get a job or a master's degree scholarship overseas", and so on).

But to me, those are part of my life goals. (I. should. get. them. done. I really should).
While New Year's Resolutions to me are simple and measurable things that I wanna get to improve my quality as a human being.

New year's resolutions are there not to become your burdens, not to change you and push you to become what you are not. So pick your own new year's resolutions that you think would make you feel good, look good, or get more out of life. :3

Let's start!

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Quick facts:

Top 10 New Years resolutions for 2014 according to University of Scranton. Journal of Clinical Psychology

Published: 12.13.2013

Rank	Top 10 New Years resolutions for 2014
1	Lose Weight
2	Getting Organized
3	Spend Less, Save More
4	Enjoy Life to the Fullest
5	Staying Fit and Healthy
6	Learn Something Exciting
7	Quit Smoking
8	Help Others in Their Dreams
9	Fall in Love
10	Spend More Time with Family

Type of Resolutions (Percent above 100% because of multiple resolutions)	Data
Self Improvement or education related resolutions	47%
Weight related resolutions	38%
Money related resolutions	34%
Relationship related resolutions	31%

Full statistics? Click here.

Different dates of Mother's Day: What does it really mean?

Reading Time: 3-5 minutes

Happy mother's day to all of moms all around the world!

I noticed how a lot of my friends posted their photos to declare their love to their moms. Such a sweet atmosphere today. What did I do on this year's mother's day? I went shopping with my mom and my younger sis after a long long while, and left my dad and younger bro at home. (No, they were actually shopping in a place separated with where we shopped).  
So.. the holiday atmosphere was really there. I mean, holiday shopping atmosphere.

Still in the Mother's Day atmosphere,
instead of wondering what everyone was doing with their mom for the whole day, I was struck by a random question.
Why is Mother's day celebrated on different dates, all around the world?

December 22 is Indonesian's mother's day, while in another countries, they have their own Mother's day on different dates. 
For example, in Norway, mother's day is celebrated on the second Sunday of each year's February.
In Bulgaria, Mother's day is always celebrated on March 8, which is also International Women's day (hmm, that makes sense).
For countries like Australia, Japan, USA, Germany, and Netherlands (also several other countries) Mother's day is celebrated on the second Sunday in May.

Looking at all of the dates, Mother's days apparently range from February to December. Feeling like celebrating all those Mother's day? Then you can celebrate Mother's day almost every month.

The first modern Mother's Day term was used and celebrated back in 1908 when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in West Virginia, United States. She then started a campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in United States.
The holiday was adopted by other countries and is now celebrated all around the world.

But what's with the various dates?
After my quick "research", I found an interesting fact. It turns out that each country has different perspective on Mother's day in their own country.

Some of the countries selected date based on historical significance, like Bolivia's Mother's Day which is the date of a battle in which Bolivian women participated. In some countries the date was changed  to a date that was significant to the majority religion, such as Virgin Mary Day in Catholic countries. In some ex-communist countries they prefer to celebrate International Women's Day.
Conclusion: There are various origins of Mother's day, therefore Mother's Day are celebrated in various dates. 

After reading all those historical stuff about Mother's Day, I was expecting to feel content with the findings. There are lots of interesting stories on the Mother's Day Celebration traditions, the origins and history of Mother's Day. You can google them all. I was not feeling content.

Then I remembered my mom, my super mom (I'm sure some of you can relate to "my super mom" phrase. Our moms can be so super and M.O.M could be an abbreviation of Mother.Of.Multitasking, too).

She has done tons of amazing things. She has raised me, and has taught me to become a better person, by showing me how to become so. Sure she makes mistakes, because she's a human being. But what she has given to me---blood, sweat, and tears, are what made me believe that I can never repay her, no matter how much gratitude and appreciation I want to give to her.

Then I remembered myself. How bad I was acting as a kid, how much of a rebel as a teenager, and finally, how ignorant I am as a daughter right now, how I still don't listen to her words sometimes, how I don't pick up her calls or never really tell her I love her back.

The puzzle pieces are now coming together for me. I finally have my own interpretation and how I can relate to the fact that Mother's Days are celebrated on different dates all across the world.

"Mother's day is supposed to be celebrated, everyday."

If I celebrate Mother's Day every year, while I haven't started to appreciate and thank my mom for everything that she has done for me everyday, does it really mean anything?

While we can, let's tell and show our moms how much we love them. Don't hesitate.

Feeling nostalgic?

In every state of our lives, there will always be a song or several songs which give a mark to it. Don't you agree? There are times when we're probably shopping in malls or just hanging out in a cafe, the music starts playing and you're like "Oh HEY. This song reminds me of when I was 14 and very rebel back then. Wow, time flies." And once you get home you start finding the songs which have those certain memories, and sing along to each and every single song. You just can't help it.

And yes.. you would probably feel old after that. 


So anyways, I came across songs that made me feel nostalgic today and I wanna share them with you.
I can't embed the YouTube videos here because the thing is not working so I'll just put the links here and give the snippets of each song's lyrics. Enjoy!

1. Travis - Closer (2007)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2hYn_4yuhc
I've had enough, of this parade.
I'm thinking of, the words to say.
We open up, unfinished parts,
Broken up, its so mellow.

And when I see you then I know it will be next to me
And when I need you then I know you will be there with me
Ill never leave you...

Just need to get closer, closer,
Lean on me now,Lean on me now,
closer, closer,
Lean on me now, Lean on me now.

2. Daniel Bedingfield - If You're not The One (2002)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3bFOT1e-AU

I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through and I hope
You are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

3. Hoobastank - The Reason (2003)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV4DiAyExN0

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

4. The Corrs - Summer Sunshine (2004)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNWo83LD7JQ

In the heat of summer sunshine 
I miss you like nobody else 
In the heat of summer sunshine 
I'll kiss you, and nobody needs to know 

Now that you've left me, there's no retur-ning 
I keep comparing, you're always win-ning 
I try to be strong but you'll never be more wanted 
Will you make me at home? 

5. Dido - White Flag (2003)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pwT2wiZsg0

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you, 
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it 
where's the sense in that? 

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder 
Or return to where we were 

I will go down with this ship 
And I won't put my hands up and surrender 
There will be no white flag above my door 
I'm in love and always will be 

6. All American Rejects - Move Along (2005)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_6aVrxEtw0

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

7. Sarah McLachlan - When She Loved Me (2000)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3qBbLyRixg

When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy, so was I, when she loved me.

Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all
Just she and I together, like it was meant to be
And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her
And I knew that she loved me.

8. Jojo - Never Say Goodbye (2004)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9jL62ck_Ww

No more lonely, no more just me
I've been there before
Ain't going no more
And now that you're here I
Never wanna say goodbye love
Never wanna be without you
No more crying, no denyin'
I'm in love with you
And now that you're here I
I never wanna say goodbye love

Is there any song which makes you feel nostalgic whenever it's played?

Share right in the comments below :D